3 tips to get over self doubt

No matter how far we get in our journey, we all reach an invisible line that when we get close to crossing it fear overcomes us. Crippling us like a crumpled piece of paper slowly crushed by our very own hand. 

The line is invisible because it’s all things we’ve made up in our head based on what someone told us, societal expectations, our peers, past experiences or what we’ve made up about it. I don’t know about you, but I sure have loads of stories conjured about myself  that only exist in my head. It’s taken time to challenge those perceptions and be in action despite of it. But I still come across these moments where there is a delay in crossing this invisible line. The good news is I’ve found ways to shorten this time of doubt and I want to share 3 tips with you.

Feel the feelings

Most people avoid or push away the uncomfortable emotions when they come. I know no one looks forward to wanting to feel fearful today. The more we push what is happening aside, the stronger it gets. Like the bad guys in the movies. So surrender, with a time limit. I’m going to give myself 24 hours to feel shitty and sulk but tomorrow I’m going to take XYZ action.

Claim your brilliance 

We are amazing, just suffered a little amnesia in the moment. So what makes us such incredible human beings? Ask yourself? Make a list of all the things you never thought you’d accomplish but did. Phone a family member or friend if you need support with this. I am sure they have a long list of reasons how you make a difference for them. 

Now, get over yourself

Ha! I know for me many times when I get stuck in my head it’s because I’m thinking about how I look, what it seems like, reactions I may or may not get and completely lose sight of why I wanted to take action in the first place. Connect with the importance of your goal, how will it impact others. Most of the time the difference we can make for one person supercedes all the imaginary stuff that may or may not happen. We just need to get out of our own way. 

Tired of being tired

For a while now I’ve been able to manage my extreme fatigue. Some days are better than others. Lately it hasn’t been kind to me, slowly draining me out of all my enthusiasm and energy. Last week I did some follow up work after a number of blood tests in the past few years as you may recall my doctor found that I had subclinical hypothyroid symptoms. I finally confirmed what my gut has been telling me all along that something is wrong. I have hashimotos disease, no I’m not dying although some days I feel like parts of me are from so much fatigue. Along with fatigue come muscle, joint pain and weight gain…oh vey! Like I needed more obstacles to get in my way. That rhymed didn’t it? πŸ€” lol….

The journey continues….

If you ever feel something is wrong push for testing, some doctors are easy to dismiss early signs. Get a full hormone panel etc. Ask for a copy of your results, do your own research. My last examination t3/t4 and TSH were all within a normal range (now I’m talking terminator lingo) but I saw I had thyroid antibodies (which the doctor dismissed). Luckily I saw a specialist and can now begin to manage my symptoms. Everything is making a lot more sense especially the yo-yo weight cycles and rapid weight gain. 

Till next time,

Love + Light

Jae

“Plus Size”

Sports illustrated is breaking the Internet.  For the first time in its history the cover features a curvy model, Ashley Graham. 

While I am glad that the media is finally starting to portray more body positive images, less photoshop and real curves. It is disappointing that women sized 10-12 which is the average American woman size, are considered to be a “plus” size. In that case what would they call someone that is a size 6? 4? 0? 
This is not about pinning women against each other or comparisons skinny vs. curvy.  

Can we just for a moment stop with the labels, a woman is a woman at any size. 

You are beautiful at any size…love your curvas! 

Things don’t go right, they go left….

Just when you think you have everything planned out and are on the “right” path, a twist! I thought coming into 2016 I had a clear cut plan of how things were going to be. I managed to lose 25lbs last year in a very slow and steady manner, no crazy diets or fads. Eating flexible majority of the time. I thought for sure this year I would get down to my ideal weight for me. I’ve been injured for the last 6 weeks, a lot to explain but it’s my left side from knee to hip. I have been going to physical therapy consistently, I’ve gotten to the point where I can do some pelvic tilts and call it exercise. Not exactly what I envisioned for the first month of the year.

I realized today that maybe this all happened because I needed to slow down a little. Sometimes we are in such a rush, where are we going? Fleeting rapidly…

I’m focusing on what I can control at this moment and that’s how I choose to eat while my body heals. 

You are never in full control, just trust and do the best you can!

ObstaclesΒ 

Have you ever noticed that whenever you really want something….everything happens…all at once. It feels like the ceiling is coming down on you, while the earth is trying to swallow you whole. No way out! A bit dramatic eh….

This is exactly how I felt coming into the new year. Christmas Eve I was showing off my merengue moves at a family fiesta, when I came to a halt, “pop” was the sound that echoed from my knees.

 I managed to limp around for the next 2 weeks, jeez I never realized how many stairs I went up and down on a daily basis. Imagine rush hour, NYC, subways and me taking baby steps up and down the stairs πŸ™ˆ. I’m improving with physical therapy, but no lower body exercising, which means no squats, no cardio. What !?!

Instead of whining about not being able to do cardio which I need or do my favorite exercises, I’ll be over there at the ergo meter (the machine that looks like a bicycle for the arms) smiling because at least I’m getting something done.

I think when obstacles get in our paths no matter the journey, it’s to push you to think differently and to test how bad you really want it. Nothing you desire is easily attainable, if it was you would already have it. Fitness is not easy, neither is changing old habit patterns. It will be a fight, but you can win!

Love your body again

I was sitting in the kitchen doing my usual routine, scanning through social media, liking pictures, congratulating people, reading articles that capture my short attention span… all while acknowledging that I should be writing because I have a book to write and a deadline. Then as I am perusing my emails I read the headline “love your body again” naturally capturing my attention because I love all positive messages and then bam! A side by side picture of someone’s fat stomach and a terribly photo shopped thinner one on the left. With the message under it “this miracle pill can burn fat fast” 

huh?!? πŸ™„ 

I don’t know about you but I am tired of being told to love my body by drinking a magic pill or wearing spanks or an incredible uncomfortable corset that in my opinion only makes me look worse. How about being told to love ourselves right now at this moment!

This is not to say don’t want to be fit and healthy but you are ok just he way you are right now and it’s ok if you want better or different but be ok with you right now.

Role models

The other day I was having a conversation with someone I had just met and we were discussing weight fluctuations and eating for comfort vs. hunger. It dawned on me even more at that point that the fitness industry is lacking role models that understand “people like us”. Women that struggle with eating less, women that have more than 10 lbs to lose. Their goal is not merely to “tighten and tone” it’s to practice moderation and self control. Fitness role models that look like us and understand what this experience is from the inside out. I hope to be that for someone one out there who can use the extra confidence that they can do it too!

Sabotage

There I was sitting in my kitchen with an open box of captain crunch. Devouring it like a savage, a few minutes in I knew exactly what I was doing but I kept going anyway. After a while of munchin and crunchin, feeling my mouth a little stale from all the artificial sugar I finally stopped. 

I took myself through a flashback of the day. I made great choices for breakfast and lunch but like a typical Monday it was extremely stressful. I worked 11 hours straight and didn’t get my usual mid day workout which I felt horrible about. Lunch was the last meal I ate before I arrived home. I was upset I didn’t force myself to workout but I felt physically and mentally drained. On the way home I contemplated having some wine to relax me and make me feel better,  but I didn’t instead I had a nice yummy chicken and spinach salad when I arrived home… but I was still hungry. 

You know the hunger that’s not physical hunger, it’s the make me feel better….I don’t feel emotionally well hunger, the one that makes you eat things like captain crunch…lol. As I sat there with the sweet, pasty cardboard taste still in my mouth I wondered why I do this from time to time.

 I don’t have the complete answer but I’ve improved throughout the years. I think what has minimized this sabotage is the awareness that I am allowing my emotions to choose and that somehow food comforts me. One thing has definitely changed in the last year and that is that I didn’t feel one ounce of guilty, no beat up…nada! I think this is a minimal step you can take in having a healthy mindset. Repeat after me: It’s done and that’s it…now time to make a new choice. 

Healthy Hugs,

Jaqui